


Right Over His Head

by Quipstaff



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Bromance to Romance, Cuddling & Snuggling, Friends to Lovers, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Oblivious, Pining, Post-Endgame, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:41:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quipstaff/pseuds/Quipstaff
Summary: After the war, Ashe and Caspar go traveling together and wind up spending a lot of time sleeping in the same bed. Which gets complicated when feelings start to grow.OR: "Bro, is it gay if we spend months cuddling each other at night and you're all I can think about and I kind of want you to kiss me? Bro..."
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 187





	Right Over His Head

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't a "there's only one bed" story, but maybe it's Same Energy? Anyway, I wasn't super concerned about the route. Feel free to assume it's an Everybody Lives au or at least a Byleth Recruited Everybody route, it really doesn't matter, other than its not Crimson Flower.
> 
> Lysithea is in this despite not having supports with either of the leads for the sole reason that I wanted to see how she'd play off Caspar. I have no regrets.
> 
> I don't like tagging for implied ships or brief side-ships if the focus of the fic is one particular pairing, but head's up that there's some stuff that's alluded to. Also Catherine/Shamir rights. Sorry, Cathmir, when I think of a fic idea for you two that isn't basically the exact same premise as this one I'll try to write one.

It didn't start until after they went back to Gaspard. 

After the war, Ashe wanted to see more of Fodlan and Caspar wanted to go on adventures, so it seemed natural that they'd travel together. They started in Bergliez, so Caspar could mend bridges. Instead, Caspar ended up making clear he would never return home. 

They travelled across Fodlan after that, not going through it systematically but wandering towards whatever next direction there had been rumours of trouble. Sometimes they'd stay in inns, sometimes they would stay with friends, but often they would simply sleep in bedrolls, in the open air. 

After a while, Ashe wanted to check on his adopted home, which he had technically become responsible for. His siblings were doing more than fine managing things and adored his tales of exploits, so with their encouragement he left again with Caspar to continue their journey. 

But they had chosen the wrong timing to go north. It was cold, and it got colder as winter came. 

One night, as they were shivering in their own bedrolls, having been unable to find a place to stay before nightfall, Caspar said, "This is dumb. We're both freezing here."

Ashe, much more used to the idea of going to sleep cold than the born-noble, not that he _liked_ it, didn't even open his eyes. "What do you suggest?" 

"We could share body heat! Sleep in the same bedroll!" 

Ashe remembered, long ago, winter nights with his siblings all cuddled up together. It made sense to do it, but he hadn't suggested it because in his experience nobles were very fussy about physical contact. He should have known better than to expect that attitude from Caspar, though. 

"It's a good idea," Ashe admitted, "If you have no reservations."

Caspar scoffed. "Why would I have reservations? Get in here!" 

"No, you barely wash that thing. Share mine."

"Fine!" 

They slept side by side, that first night. Perfectly platonic, in all honesty. The warmth of Caspar by Ashe's side was comforting. The next couple of nights were the same. Two peas in a comfortable little pod, trying not to freeze.

They got to an inn eventually and separated, getting two rooms as usual. But sometime in the night, Caspar quietly woke Ashe up, claiming it was still cold. The Inn was cheap and the fires small, so he did have a point. Ashe had no objections, and the arrangement continued. 

The next time they stayed at an inn, they didn't bother getting separate rooms. Ashe, who was in charge of the money, figured it was much cheaper that way anyway. 

Neither of them could remember later when exactly they stopped sleeping with as little contact as possible, instead curling around each other, with the exact configuration changing nightly. It probably happened by accident in the night in the beginning. Since it was more comfortable that way and neither of them seemed to mind, it passed without comment.

They visited Gautier, and Sylvain insisted that they stay awhile, giving them each their own lordly rooms with massive beds and fireplaces. Gautier manor wasn't the most gaudy of noble houses, built originally to be always on guard against Sreng, but it did know how to be comfortable in the winter. 

Ashe started having trouble sleeping. A few days in, even Caspar noticed the bags under his eyes. 

"Whoa, buddy, what's wrong? You're not looking so great."

Ashe hesitated. "It's nothing."

Caspar, for his part, didn't have the tact to take him at his word. "No really, you look like death warmed over. Come on, you can tell me."

A pause, as Ashe tried to figure out a proper way to say it. "I've been having nightmares. Every once in a while since the war - no, since… since Lord Lonato." He lowered his voice, though they were alone at the moment. "Then soon after we got here, I was talking to Elizabeth - the maid? She told me the room I'm staying in has been unoccupied since it was Miklan's. It's silly, but I can't sleep and when I do..." 

"Oh. Yeah. That's… that's… yikes." Caspar rubbed his head. He hadn't been in their class to see the death of Ashe's father, but he'd joined just in time for the incident with Sylvain's brother. Ashe could see from his wince that he remembered and understood. 

But then Caspar frowned. "I don't remember you having nightmares since we started sleeping together. Unless you just didn't wake me up, I could probably sleep through a parade when I get going."

Ashe was very glad no one else was around, not even the maid, because that phrasing sure was some phrasing. His cheeks went a little red. "I had a couple, but less than… this." Ashe swallowed, not sure if he was ready to admit this. "I think I feel safe with you."

"Then share my room tonight! It's no problem!" Caspar was far from put out, he was enthusiastic. 

Ashe hesitated again, wondering if it was really okay. "Are you certain that is fine?" 

"It's no skin off _my_ knees." 

That night, Ashe slept in Caspar's room. Without really thinking about it, they were outright cuddling after they were under the covers. It was comforting, and Ashe slept deeply.

The next day he quietly moved his stuff over to that room. The maid didn't mention it at all, though Ashe knew she had most certainly noticed, as she'd placed an item Ashe had forgot on the bedside table. She also didn't seem to tell Sylvain, since he didn't know until after the third night, when he personally caught Ashe sneaking out of Caspar's rooms in the morning. 

"Oh ho ho." Sylvain threw an arm over Ashe's mortified shoulder. "Here I was wondering why a couple handsome guys like you hadn't scored a pair of hot ladies for yourself, but now I get why."

Ashe didn't wriggle away, but he did sigh heavily. "I wish you didn't speak about women that way, Sylvain. But you're mistaken, it's not like that."

"Really? Did you just get up in the morning to borrow a cup of sugar from Caspar's bedroom? 'Cause it seems more like you were getting a different kind of sugar, if you know what I mean." 

Ashe did push Sylvain's arm off him that time. "Don't be crude. We aren't - like I said, it's not like that." He then awkwardly (and getting increasingly embarrassed) explained the Arrangement.

Sylvain seemed rather skeptical but he ran a hand through his fringe. "You know, if it was anyone but Caspar, I wouldn't believe it." 

Ashe finally felt his shoulders relax. "So you _do_ believe it?" 

"Well, yeah, I mean, you're so honest you're a terrible liar and Caspar…" Sylvain shrugged.

Confused, Ashe crossed his arms and frowned at Sylvain. "Caspar what?" 

Sylvain pulled him a little down the hall, away from the door, checking to see if they were alone. "Okay, don't pass on this story but one time Hilda bet me a dinner date if I could successfully flirt with Caspar. Actually, if he even _noticed_ I was flirting with him, I'd win." Sylvain sighed, shaking his head. "She did. We never did go on that dinner date."

There were several emotions Ashe had in reaction to that story, the foremost being confusion. Not confusion that Hilda would make such a bet or that Sylvain would accept, but rather, "How could he not even _notice_? You're the least subtle flirt I have ever seen!" 

"I know, right?" Sylvain laughed. "Not only did he not notice, but Hilda says that when she brought it up later he tried to convince her I was just being friendly! And that was after I was this close - " he held his fingers a half-inch apart, "To outright asking him to sleep with me. I guess now I know he'd take that literally too."

Ashe went beet red at that, but he still gaped. "Maybe he's simply incapable of believing that a man could give him that kind of attention?" 

Sylvain shook his head. "Nah, Hilda says he was like that with her too. She totally knew that when she made the bet, for sure. After that I asked around. Everyone said he was just completely oblivious. So I tried not to take it personally." 

Ashe put a hand on his cheek. "Maybe he simply doesn't feel that way towards anyone." That he could accept readily; he had known people like that. "Caspar could be perfectly happy without romance or… more carnal relations."

"Maybe, but I dunno. Dorothea says she was pretty sure that he had a thing for her in school. It never went anywhere since she wasn't interested, but she said he was definitely down for it."

"Oh," said Ashe, a sudden sinking feeling in his stomach, "Do you think that he still has feelings for her?" 

"I dunno. I mean, she was pretty specific about it being at the Academy, but who knows."

Ashe went quiet, thinking about it. It tracked, at least. He did remember Caspar telling him once that he wished Dorothea would stop treating him like a kid brother. He hadn't said anything else after they had all reunited during the war. Ashe himself had a couple of boyhood crushes during school that hadn't survived the years since. It went like that sometimes. Then again, Caspar could just dislike being patronized. 

Anything on Caspar's side of the equation was mere speculation, and Ashe felt uncomfortable making assumptions either way. 

As for Caspar's apparent inability to understand that someone had feelings towards _him_ , that he had at least seen evidence of. "There has been a couple of times during our travels that someone was _suggestive_ towards him and he ignored them. I thought that he was being polite, but…" 

"Oh, no doubt. Right over his head, which is easy, you know, because he's so short."

Ashe, who wasn't exactly the tallest either, pointedly ignored that comment. "It does explain a lot."

"See? Like I said. If anyone could continually share a bed with someone without even considering the idea that it could be more than that, it'd be that guy."

The blushing returned. "You don't need to make a big deal out of it."

"What I don't get is what's up with _you_." 

Ashe groaned. "I thought you said you believed me."

"I don't think you're lying, but you knew what people would _think_ or you wouldn't be so secretive about it."

That got a wince. Sylvain hit it right on the money. "Well, um, it's not so different than sharing a bed with siblings, I've done that before."

" _Now_ you're lying." Sylvain waved a dismissive hand. "That was when you were kids, right? Would you do the same as adults?" 

"I truly did think it was the same," insisted Ashe, but Sylvain was right, he was too honest, so he begrudgingly added, "At first."

"But not now."

"It took me a while to start considering what it would seem like." Ashe rubbed his arm, not meeting Sylvain's eyes. "But as long as Caspar doesn't care, I don't see any issue. And when necessary, I can be discrete on his behalf."

Sylvain considered him a moment. "Alright, sure, whatever. I'm not going to go gossip about it with anyone." 

Relieved, Ashe smiled. "Thank you, Sylvain."

"I got to give you a piece of advice, though," added Sylvain, the look in his eyes uncharacteristically concerned, "You two can do what you want. But take it from me - if one of you starts to feel more than casual about it, it could get messy really fast."

"I'll keep that in mind." It was a rare moment of sincerity from Sylvain. Ashe tried to be sincere in return. 

He truly did intend to be careful.

* * *

The two travelling companions both got wanderlust soon after that, and spent a little while in Sreng, until Caspar almost caused a diplomatic incident before Ashe managed to smooth it over. 

As they crossed back over the border during their hasty retreat, Caspar muttered angrily under his breath. "How was I supposed to know he was a duke? And even if he _was_ a duke that didn't mean he had the right to act like that." 

They travelled back into Fodlan and over time, numerous incidents and a few battles with bandits along the way, and ended up in Ordelia territory. Lysithea gratuitously allowed them to stay at her family's home so they could rest. Her parents were travelling and so it was just the three of them.

They dined with her the day they arrived and spent some time in her house. Eventually Ashe quietly asked Lysithea to give them just the one room. It was nerve-wracking. Innkeepers who didn't recognize them and would never see them again were one thing, but this was the first time Ashe had been open from the start with someone they knew. 

Lysithea didn't even comment before following through on the request. It wasn't until the next morning that Ashe found out why she was unfazed. 

Ashe was an earlier riser than Caspar, and he found out that Lysithea was too when he went down to breakfast. 

House Ordelia was cozy, compared to some of their other friends' estates. Yet it was still very large to Ashe's eyes, who never forgot his roots. The breakfast room was small for nobility, with a wide window facing the east. Ashe was startled by the idea of a room devoted to breakfast at all. 

Lysithea nodded when he came in and gestured to some muffins and pastries laid out. 

"Help yourself."

"Thank you," said Ashe. 

Lysithea was someone him and Caspar knew from the Academy and from the war, of course, but Ashe had never really gotten to know her that well, compared to some of the others. She was always a bit intimidating, actually. 

She asked him a few questions about the places they had been and the people they'd kept in contact with. They chatted for a while, very politely. 

It was Ashe that ended up bringing up the situation with Caspar. "Thank you for being so understanding last night."

"Understanding?" Lysithea looked confused. 

"About the room."

She raised her eyebrows. "I was under the impression it was perfectly normal for two people who are married to share a room." 

Ashe choked on his muffin. After a bit of coughing and watery eyes, he managed to gasp out, "Excuse me?" 

Lysithea offered him a glass of water, looking bemused. "You aren't? I had thought you had eloped. You two certainly _act_ as though you're married."

Of all the possible reasons Lysithea had been so chill, this was not one Ashe expected. "We do?"

"You share finances, don't you? When you first arrived, Caspar offered to pay me for your stay but informed me to request the money from you. I declined, but I wasn't born yesterday. " 

"That's -" Another unexpected answer, this time a rather more clinical one than he'd assume. What's more, it was one that was difficult to argue. "Caspar is terrible at shopping and I have a knack for it, and he's so impulsive - he'd spend all his money at once if in the right mind. Plus, we've been living off gifts we've been given, and their donors never, uh, split the bill."

Not to mention the money they got sometimes from taking down brigands and thieves. It was easier not to figure out an even split. Sometimes it felt like they were glorified mercenaries. 

"And the fact that you finish each other's thoughts?" 

That had happened a couple of times last night at dinner, he had to admit. "Caspar does that sometimes because he gets impatient to get to the point. I do it when he's wandered away from it."

"What about how he won't shut up about how wonderful you are? I swear, even Alois would think he was pushing it."

Ashe froze. That was new. He became suddenly aware of his own heartbeat. "Excuse me?" 

"Last night, before you two went back to your room, when you requested a chance to see our library..."

He remembered that; he had ended up engrossed in a volume about some of the adventures of relic bearers. "Yes?" 

"I asked him a very simple question about your travels, intending to get some information about Sreng, and he launched into this entire tirade about how you had managed to keep him from getting executed after he accosted a duke."

Ashe felt himself going red. "I didn't realize. It really was a huge misunderstanding. Once all parties talked it out like adults it was easy to resolve." 

"I'm not implying it wasn't impressive, there's no need to be modest," said Lysithea, impatiently, "But he just kept going! Ashe this, Ashe that - he hardly allowed me a word in."

Ashe, at a loss for words himself, ate his muffin. 

"Really," said Lysithea, "He could have tried to be a little more tactful. But I will admit it was a bit amusing."

Ashe ran out of muffin. He'd have to say something now, but his brain was fixated on _Caspar wouldn't stop talking about him?_

She shrugged. "So if you haven't gotten married, when are you going to?" 

It was back to this. This was somehow far more embarrassing than with Sylvain. He was dying here. He was going to see the Goddess. Please, take him quickly. "We're not? Truly it isn't like that. We're simply two friends travelling together."

"Uh huh." Her skepticism rolled off in waves. "You know, I'm a grown adult. I know what people do behind closed doors. I don't care about the _details_ , but don't treat me like I'm naïve or oblivious."

"Except _Caspar_ is," Ashe blurted out. "He's… it hasn't even occurred to him. And I happen to value our friendship as is." 

Lysithea raised her eyebrows. "He's a grown adult too, isn't he? Even if he doesn't care, he probably at least _thought_ about it."

Ashe thought back to all their interactions about it. "I really don't think he has." 

"You're not going to bring it up?"

"When we received your invitation, I tried to broach the subject but I don't think he got my point." Sylvain had been right; Ashe's tactful attempt at warning that there may be rumours about them went right over his head. Caspar had gone on about how he'd be glad if people were passing on stories of their heroics, and further attempts to allude to his meaning were similarly unsuccessful.

Lysithea got up to leave, shaking her head. "I really can't see how he'd miss it, it seems more likely that he simply ignores it."

Ashe still wasn't so sure, but he did wonder how he could have been more clear. 

Lysithea paused at the doorway, turning around. "I apologize for my mistake." She sighed, looking wistful. "If things as they are make you happy, then that's perfectly fine. Life can be too short to waste time on the opinions of others. It may be even shorter with the lives you have chosen - keep doing the things that bring you comfort."

She turned again, and Ashe was left with a pile of pastries and thoughts.

* * *

After Caspar woke, they spent the day in Ordelia territory, exploring and sorting out some minor problems. Caspar was full of energy, as usual, laughing and trying to get Ashe to laugh. 

They returned to House Ordelia by nightfall, and as per habit by now slept in the same bed. 

Sometimes they slept at other ends, other times they would cuddle close. Tonight Caspar had fallen asleep spread eagle, except for an arm loosely around Ashe's shoulders. Ashe lay awake beside him, unable to fall asleep, his head resting on Caspar's chest, feeling him breathe beneath him. 

In. Out. It was a miracle they had made it out of the war alive and relatively intact. Ashe had lost so many - his parents, Lonato, Christophe. He had thought he had lost friends during the war as well. What would he do if he lost Caspar? 

In. Out. He liked what they had. It was fine as was. If this truly was all he needed to be satisfied, then that mattered more than people's preconceived notions. Lysithea was right. 

In. Out. Caspar was so peaceful underneath him, his barbaric energy calm during the night. There was something that Lysithea said that he kept thinking about. _"If things as they are make you happy._ " 

In. Out. What was exceedingly annoying, in a way he had been trying not to think about, was that those preconceived notions weren't entirely wrong. Not that they weren't wrong to jump to conclusions or not to allow them some privacy, but that Ashe didn't entirely buy that their relationship was platonic either.

He couldn't speak for Caspar. He could only speak for himself. 

Recently, he had started to daydream. He was pretty sure most people didn't daydream about fairy-tale romances with their best friend if there was nothing there. He liked to nurse one in particular, where Caspar dramatically confessed his feelings as the sun set behind them, after one or both of them had saved the other's lives in some battle rescuing innocents earlier that day. It wasn't even that far off from their normal lives, even if daydream Caspar was far more bold in his relationship with Ashe.

Sometimes the daydreams had Caspar getting on one knee and proposing to be with him forever. On other occasions, he imagined that he pinned Ashe up against the wall, unable to get enough of him. Usually Ashe liked the simple idea of Caspar pulling him into a deep, romantic kiss. He thought about Caspar kissing him a lot, actually. 

If Caspar was oblivious, then Ashe fantasized about him making the first move. But he knew it wasn't going to happen. 

In. Out. He hadn't even realized until then how much he'd been thinking about it. He had been trying to dismiss those daydreams when he realized he'd had them. But laying them out like that - goddess, and he called Caspar oblivious. 

In. Out. As long as they were both expecting the same thing out of this nightly routine it was fine. Platonic was fine. Romantic, sexual, that was fine. But if one of them thought it was still platonic, while the other was increasingly intrigued by the other possibilities then there was going to be a problem. 

Ashe thought he'd get over it and they'd go back to the status quo. But now as he really allowed himself to think about the idea that he was catching feelings that Caspar would remain completely oblivious to, it _hurt_. 

Would it always hurt? Every time Caspar smiled at him, would it hurt? Every time he made him laugh, would it hurt? Every time he caught a glimpse of Caspar being serious, angered by injustice or wishing the world was a better place - would that hurt too? Ashe had experienced unrequited feelings before, but he hadn't spent every single day with that person. They had definitely not cuddled in the dark. 

Not to mention that if he kept quiet over his own feelings, it would feel dishonest at best to continue sharing a bed with someone who didn't feel the same way and didn't know. At worse - Ashe's skin crawled at the thought. It was wrong.

He immediately pulled away from Caspar and grabbed a spare blanket and pillow and made due on the floor. 

He had two options. One. Ashe would say something, and he would have to be incredibly straightforward, and they could renegotiate the arrangement. But he wasn't confident about his own feelings. Maybe they were just daydreams because he was lonely and the only person around was Caspar. It wasn't like Caspar acted very much like himself in his imagination. He was too uncertain to be unambiguous, and any ambiguity wouldn't get through.

Two. He could keep it to himself. Don't mention it at all. But if he did that, he no longer felt comfortable with this thing they were doing. It wouldn't be... honorable. He'd separate the two of them until he could get himself together, one way or the other. 

Either option, he had to do the right thing. He had to change course.

* * *

Caspar woke up in the morning early for once. Something felt off. He was missing something. Bleary, he rubbed his eyes and sat up. What was it? He felt this every morning, though it took him a second. 

"Ashe?" 

This time, however, he looked over to see Ashe curled up on the floor rather than already awake and gone. Weird. Was he comfortable like that? Caspar was a bit worried, but he rolled with it. He got dressed as quietly as possible for him, which wasn't that quiet compared to anyone else, but miraculously Ashe slept on. 

Caspar jogged down to the quaint little breakfast room. "Morning, Lysithea!" 

She squinted at him. "You already have far too much energy." 

"I think you don't have enough," said Caspar, grabbing a half dozen pastries and immediately stuffing one in his face, getting crumbs all over it. 

Lysithea winced. "How is it that your manners are atrocious but Ashe's are perfectly acceptable? You're the noble."

"Ishnt ish hobshious?" 

"Please chew before you speak."

Caspar swallowed. "Isn't it obvious? I don't have anything to prove. I'm a younger, Crest-less son. I was never gonna inherit and I'm definitely disinherited now. I don't need to care about that kind of stuff, which is good, because I don't."

Lysithea raised her eyebrows. "I wasn't expecting you to be so self aware."

"Whash thass supposhed shoo mean?" 

"Please, Caspar, for the love of the goddess _swallow_ before you speak." Lysithea looked away, evidently finding his eating habits too painful to watch. 

Caspar paused before inhaling the next pastry. "I'm sure Ashe was always polite, but he was adopted. Imagine getting roped into the whole nobility thing after having to fend for yourself and the younger kids." Caspar waved a pastry in his hand. "Bet you anything he didn't want to be an embarrassment to Lonato."

While he devoured his waiting baked good, Lysithea took a sip of tea and sounded thoughtful. "And then Lord Lonato died by the Church's hand. I imagine that put him in a particularly precarious situation. In the Monastery no one seemed to hold it against him, but if the war hadn't happened, I wonder how he would have fit in."

Caspar swallowed. "See? You get it. He's definitely sincerely well-mannered, but he kinda _has_ to be. He's amazing that way, really. He charms the socks off of everybody we meet."

His breakfast companion sighed. "And you've done it again."

Caspar paused, about to put another pastry in his mouth but not wanting to get yelled at again. "Done what?" 

"Never mind. You mentioned that you were going to leave today?"

"Yeah, there's not a lot for us to do here." 

"This is where you're supposed to say 'except for your lovely company' or some trivial compliment or the like."

"Huh? Uh…"

"Don't worry, I don't like that kind of flattery anyway. But I hope you've enjoyed your stay." 

"Yeah! It's nice to sleep in a bed after a while outdoors."

Lysithea took another sip. Her tone of voice became very calculated casual. "You've been sharing one with Ashe, haven't you?"

"Yeah! It helps him sleep."

Lysithea stared at him.

Caspar was confused. "What?"

"You're just sleeping."

"Yeah, what else would be doing?"

"What do you think I would think you were doing?" 

Caspar stopped, feeling like he missed a step on the stairs. She was trying to say something and he just wasn't getting it. "Uh…"

"You really haven't thought about it?" 

"No? Thought about what? Are you going to get to the point?" 

"You really are hopeless." Lysithea's pale face picked up a distinctly pink hue, though she put on the haughtiest tone imaginable.

"I shouldn't have to ask this, Caspar, and I apologize for being so forward, but..." She took a breath. "You _do_ know what sexual intercourse is, correct?" 

The amount of time it took for that statement to completely break Caspar was none. "Wh - what? Yeah of course I know what se - Goddess, are you even allowed to say that? Is that legal? Why would you -" 

It took him a second, but his brain finally opened the floodgates of realization.

"With _Ashe_?" His voice hit a pitch that would impress even Dorothea. "What?! No - I - duh, no, I mean, who would, I… I mean anyone would be happy to but we're not - you think we're, what?" 

Lysithea's hand was pressed against her mouth as if she was trapping something in there. Then it moved to cover her eyes as her shoulders shook. "I should be insulted that you just implied I'm too young to speak about such things, but I simply cannot _believe_ it hadn't actually occurred to you."

"I, no, why would it have - with _Ashe_?" 

"You sound like you're against the idea."

"I didn't say that!" 

She lowered her hand and raised her eyebrows.

Flustered, and realizing what he just said, Caspar was put on the defensive. "I just - I haven't thought about it, okay! How am I supposed to know! Argh, and now you've gone and put the idea in my head and I won't be able to think about anything else now! How am I supposed to speak to him with _that_ question rattling around my brain?!" 

Lysithea put down her tea cup, legitimate regret on her face. "...Oh. I may have made an error in judgement. I've disrupted the nature of your relationship." 

"You think!?" Caspar ruffled his own hair, a thousand thoughts a minute that he couldn't even begin with sort out. "Ugh, wait - you haven't said anything to Ashe have you?" 

"Uh." Caspar was a bit caught up in his own head to notice or truly understand how rare it was for her to not know how to respond. 

"Okay," he stood up immediately. "I'm going for a run until I can look him in the face again. See you later!" 

He left her with her head in her hands.

* * *

Caspar ran. 

Feet pounded grass and dirt of country roads. Sweat trickled down his everything, his clothes sticking. His lungs inhaled spring air, his ears took in the sounds of frogs and birds and crickets. He breathed the smell of leaves and earth and the early wildflowers. 

Caspar didn't notice any of it. His thoughts were occupied. 

Augh. What was wrong with two guys sharing a bed? Nothing! They had been fine! Who cared? Did Ashe care? He didn't seem to care. So if he didn't care and Ashe didn't care then it was nobody else's business! He should go back and give Lysithea a piece of his mind! It wasn't what she thought! 

But then, what _was_ it? 

It was...

Ashe with his arms around his stomach nuzzling his back, sleeping off the vulnenary after they'd gotten in a small skirmish that afternoon. Caspar needing to itch but holding still so the other man could be comfortable. 

It was…

A cold night in Faerghus, Caspar and Ashe with tangled limbs, warmer together than they were apart. Pressing as close as possible, the ground hard beneath them, but Ashe feeling so soft. 

It was… 

Under the stars of a different country, but the stars were the exact same as they had always been. Ashe pointing it out in a whisper, before falling asleep on Caspar's shoulder. Caspar stared up at the stars, unsure if he was awed or made uncomfortable by how small they made him feel, but a shift of Ashe adjusting positions brought him back. 

It was… 

A room in Sylvain's place, the bed big enough for more than just the two of them. Ashe putting his bag down and crawling into bed, and Caspar smiling because he made Ashe feel _safe_. 

It was… 

What he looked forward to on good days, when he was filled to the brim with success and a feeling of justice being accomplished. What he wanted on bad days, when they were caked in mud and treating new scars, and trying to figure out right from wrong raised more questions than answers.

Caspar ran, heart pounding. 

That was, that was… 

Caspar skidded to a stop. He leaned forward, hands on his knees, panting. 

Love, wasn't it? 

He tipped over, sitting on the path. Then he lay down, right there, staring at the sky, breathing heavily.

"Augh, this romance stuff is exhausting." 

He wasn't really the most faithful person in Fodlan, but staring up at the sky he imagined he was talking to the Goddess. 

"Is this your fault? I just wanted to fight some bad guys and I dunno! Do what feels right! I didn't ask for this!" 

The goddess was frustratingly unapologetic. 

He tossed his arm over his face. "What do I do now? What's the point in changing what was already good?" 

What did he get out of falling in love? Nothing. 

And the idea that he would, what, _make_ love to Ashe was just... Then again, did he? Would he? Had he tried thinking about it before? He had to figure this out.

He allowed himself to imagine it. It wasn't a very good imagining, as Caspar wasn't experienced with that kind of thing, but he got the rudimentary basics down. He let his limited fantasy carry him away, though as it continued he increasingly enthusiastically added detail.

It was hard to deny his body's reaction, at least. That was also something that he would be very much up for.

Ugh. Now he _wanted_ him. He loved him and wanted him and that box was opened. He knew he could be slow on the uptake, but when he did clue into his own emotions he got swept up in them. There was no forgetting it or ignoring it now. 

He had absolutely no clue whether or not Ashe felt either of those things. He couldn't remember the guy ever giving him any indications. Maybe he had been this entire time and Caspar was a dumbass. Maybe he was sweetly innocent, not considering it. Caspar had no idea. This was the worst. 

So he'd just have to either get over it or tell him. Easy enough. Simple. Just tell him. Confess. Wait, but maybe it should be the right moment? How do people bring up this kind of thing? So, what? Wait? If he waited too long, they'd be together in bed and... oh no. He didn't think they should keep sharing a bed if he was going to be like this. 

A bird landed by his head, chirping, bringing him back to the present. He had to head back. But first, he was very consciously aware that he had something to take care of.

* * *

Ashe woke up late, having not been able to sleep for most of the night. He got up, packed up his things, and after a moment, Caspar's things. It was a bit late for breakfast, but maybe he could get something from the kitchen. He could even cook something for Lysithea, as thanks for letting them stay. 

As he tried to find the kitchen - goddess, why were noble houses so big? How did anyone find anything? He ran into the mistress of the house herself. 

"Ashe, good, I have some things for you."

She led him to the front hall, where there was a sack of food supplies, two brand new bedrolls, and she'd picked out what looked like some of her father's old clothes by the doors (Ashe wondered if he would approve when he returned.)

"Wow, Lysithea, are you certain this is alright?"

"I haven't been putting it together all morning to change my mind now. You two have been on the road so long you're hardly presentable anymore. I thought this might help."

At just that moment, one of the doors was yanked open as Caspar returned. He was soaked, despite it being a bright day outside, dripping water on the elegantly tiled floor. 

Ashe stifled a laugh. "Caspar, what happened?" 

"Did you know," said Caspar really very loudly, "That the streams are really, really cold this time of year?" 

After that non-explanation he shivered in the entrance like a wet dog, and soon Lysithea fetched a large towel and Ashe took it and wrapped it around Caspar with fondness and brought him inside. 

Caspar, his fringe still dripping, peered around at their presents. "What's all this?" 

"It's an apology," Lysithea said.

Ashe looked around at her. "An apology for what?" 

"For… being a bad host."

Was she feeling sorry for their conversation earlier? Unbeknownst to Ashe, Caspar was thinking the exact same thing.

Lysithea huffed. "I don't have time to babysit you two, so I hope this will help. If you come back this way you're still welcome." She eyed Caspar. "I'm saying my goodbyes now, I have some other errands to attend to, but feel free to wait around until you're dry, or grab anything from the kitchen." 

She gave a curtsy, but as she turned to leave, Ashe made sure to ask where the kitchen even was. 

After she was gone, Ashe suggested that he could bake a cake for Lysithea as thanks, since she adored cakes, and Caspar could use the heat of the oven to dry up. Ashe had noticed his cheeks were very pink, he was probably still cold. Caspar readily agreed.

As Ashe mixed batter and Caspar sat enveloped in a blanket by the oven, Caspar asked, "How have your nightmares been lately?" 

"I haven't had many. Maybe it was just Sylvain's house. I wouldn't be surprised if it were haunted." He just had the regular nightmares now, occasionally. 

Caspar nodded. "That's good."

Ashe hesitated. This was probably the time to bring it up. "It's spring. It's getting warmer."

"Yeah, you wanna… I mean, we have two new bedrolls now. It'd be weird to waste one."

Ashe was so grateful that Caspar had been the one to make the suggestion that he didn't question it. "Let's make use of both of them, then. I think we should have enough money now for separate rooms at inns as well. Personal space would be nice for a while."

Caspar nodded again, holding up his hands in front of the oven. "Sounds good to me."

Ashe poured batter into the cake pan. So it ended, then. That was it.

* * *

Weeks passed. They slept in their own beds, they fought thieves and brigands and the troops of unjust nobles. They didn't talk as much. A distance seemed to have grown between them. It took a while for Ashe to notice, but it was there. It was his fault, he assumed, for keeping secrets.

They ended up in Hevring territory. Linhardt wasn't there, Caspar found out - he turned out to be in Garreg Mach with their former professor. They stuck around anyway, trying to sort out some of the problems there when they ran into a town besieged by pirates. They were told a couple of mercenaries were helping out, but it wasn't until mid-battle that they realized who they were.

Ashe found a good place on the walls to snipe from, and noticed by the fall of bodies that there was another and much better sniper taking out pirates too. He tried to be modest, but he could only think of a couple other people who were as good as him, let alone better. Who was it?

Caspar had taken to the main gate in town, where he planted himself to defend. Ashe had been surprised earlier when they went over the plan that Caspar didn't want to run headfirst into the fray, but Caspar had just laughed and said, "It's the only entrance to the town that hasn't been barricaded. Once they give up on the docks, it's gonna _be_ the fray."

Ashe was on flyer watch, while also providing cover for Caspar. He was worried about Caspar being on his own out there, but at least he could help cover for him. And he wasn't alone; this mysterious other sniper made it clear they were helping to cover Caspar too when they took out a soldier going for him from the other side. 

Then from behind the pirates came a surprise attack. Ashe saw the glow of Thunderbrand through the misty coastal air, and just as it clicked for him he heard a "YEAH!" sound above the chaos of battle.

Evidently, Caspar was stoked to see Catherine, which made Ashe smile. He took out a pirate about to attack her. Shamir had helped out with his partner, so he could help out with hers. It was only fair. 

After the battle, they all joined up. 

"Well look who turned up!" Catherine laughed boisterously. "A couple of stray cats from the Monastery!"

"Caspar. Ashe." Shamir nodded. "Good to see you."

"Hey, speaking of cats, whatever happened to the one you too adopted?"

They were explaining how they'd left their feline friend with the Professor when the town mayor and the local innkeeper approached the four of them. 

"Thanks so much for saving our town! We don't have much, but we'll give you what we can. We'll feed you tonight of course! And you're welcome to stay at the inn for free but…" 

The innkeeper glanced at the mayor, embarrassed. "We don't get many travellers. It's a small place, and there's only three rooms."

"Ah," said Caspar and Ashe in unison. Would they have to share a bed again? Would Ashe be able to handle that? Maybe if the bed was big enough… 

He didn't notice that Caspar hadn't immediately volunteered either. 

It was Shamir that spoke. "Catherine and I will share a room."

"Very well then! That makes the most sense to me."

Ashe blinked. Or not. He held back his sigh of relief. 

They all held baths, and afterward the town held a party, and they were all very well fed. Caspar, after being told he didn't _look_ that strong ended up arm wrestling half the town to prove himself. The other outsiders watched from across the party, amused.

Ashe looked at Catherine. "Aren't you going to challenge him?" 

Catherine laughed. "And embarrass him? No way!" 

Ashe shook his head. "That seems presumptuous."

"It's not, but it's cute that you think it is." She winked at him. 

"You and Caspar. You fight well together," said Shamir. 

Ashe recognized a segue intended to disengage when he heard one. Usually they came from him. "Thanks. Comes with practice, I suppose, but I think it'll be a long time before we're as good as you two."

Catherine slapped him on the shoulder. "I wouldn't be too sure!" 

They talked about battle techniques between a close combat fighter and an archer for a bit, then talked about some other things. 

After a while, Ashe tentatively asked. "Are you two really okay with sharing a room?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't we be?" Shamir, always so blunt. 

"Don't worry, kid," said Catherine. "We've been doing this for a while. We always share a room anyway."

"Costs less." 

Shamir's explanation felt very vindicating to Ashe. "Right? That was my thinking too!" 

Shamir put a hand on her hip. "So why don't you two share a room."

"Shamir," said Catherine, with some exasperation before Ashe could think of a response, "It's different for them. They're guys." 

"I don't see how their gender has anything to do with it."

"Well," said Catherine, rubbing the back of her head. "People think if two guys share a room they must be doing _something_ together. But that kind of gossip doesn't spread if it's two women like us."

Ashe looked down. He hadn't thought about it like that, but it was true.

"That's foolish," said Shamir, crossing her arms. "People would be wrong to assume."

Ashe looked up at her. "That two people sharing a bed are also, uh, engaging in relations?" 

"I meant wrong to assume Catherine and I _aren't_ fucking, but sure. That too. Assumptions are bad either way."

Catherine's face took a distinctly scarlet hue that perfectly matched Ashe's. "Shamir!" 

"What? Was it supposed to be a secret?" 

"No! Maybe! Give me a little warning next time!" 

"How am I supposed to do that?" 

Ashe was a bit in awe. He couldn't help but compare himself to Shamir, as an archer wandering around with a fighter partner, but he couldn't even imagine being so up front about such a thing. Compared to her, he felt like a coward. Even Caspar couldn't miss the point if Ashe just came out and said it like Shamir would. 

That's when Caspar came jogging over. "Phew! I finally lost. In my defense, that lady had biceps that'd make Raphael jealous." He looked between them. "What're you guys talking about?" 

"Nothing!" said Catherine and Ashe simultaneously. They shared a surprised glance. 

"Okay…" Caspar ran a hand through his hair.

For a brief moment, Shamir smiled wickedly before her face smoothed out again. "Caspar, settle a bet. If two people share a room together, would you assume they're fucking?" 

Ashe had the sudden desire to jump into the sea and live there. She did it, she said the thing. The thing Ashe had been afraid to bring up for months. She just came out and said it. 

Caspar's face went through several expressions rapidly before he said, "I'd assume it's none of my business."

Ashe had been expecting more of a reaction, though the answer didn't surprise him. Maybe Lysithea had been right and Caspar wasn't that naïve after all. He had probably been fine with things the way they were, it was just Ashe who ruined it. He squirmed. 

" _Thank_ you," said Catherine. "It's got nothing to do with anyone else."

But Shamir was apparently not done. "So you'd be fine if you and Ashe shared a room tonight and Catherine and I got separate rooms?" 

"Hey!" said Catherine. 

"What?" said Caspar. It was then that Ashe noticed he hadn't looked at him once since this conversation. 

"Sharing a room doesn't say anything about a person's relationship. So it wouldn't matter if you and Ashe shared a room tonight."

Catherine didn't look particularly happy at the direction this was going. "Hang on…"

Caspar hesitated, just a fraction, but enough that Ashe could tell. "Of - of course! Why wouldn't I be?" 

"Mmhm. Well, Catherine and I _are_ sharing one tonight so it doesn't matter."

Catherine sighed with relief.

"I was just curious what your thoughts were."

"Right! Well, um, you got 'em now! I don't care!"

He still wouldn't look at him. Ashe left the conversation. He turned around and walked away, up the stairs and onto the walls of the town that looked over the docks and the sea. The sun was setting, making the water glitter in a breathtaking way. 

He should have said something earlier. He tried his best to be honest and sincere, why couldn't he be honest with Caspar? 

Ashe was still thinking about him a lot. But it felt like the closer he wanted to be to him, the farther he got away. 

And the way wouldn't even acknowledge him while they were coming so close to the elephant in the room... it hurt. All these things he wanted to say, wanted to tell him - he should have. He should have told him ages ago.

"... Ashe?" 

Caspar had found him. Now Ashe found that he was the one who couldn't meet his eyes. He kept his own locked in the sunset. But the other man came up and leaned on the ramparts beside him.

They were quiet for a moment. 

"I'm sorry, Caspar."

"Huh? Sorry about what?" 

"I…" Maybe if he couldn't be Shamir he could at least ease into it. "I knew there'd be rumours, but I never brought it up with you."

"Oh," said Caspar, and he gave a nervous little laugh. "You think I care about that? Nah, let people think what they want."

That made Ashe draw his eyes away from the view, to find Caspar watching him. "Still…"

"Don't beat yourself up over it! It's fine!" 

Ashe smiled. "You're a good man, Caspar."

Caspar smiled back, then his smile wavered, and then he was gripping his hair with his hands. "Augh! I'm so bad at this! Look, I wanted to - I need to - okay, um, I've wanted to talk to you about something." 

"Caspar?" Ashe wasn't sure how to interpret this. His heart was beating so rapidly it was distracting.

"I liked sleeping with you, and I wish we didn't stop!" Caspar was flushed. 

Ashe blinked. Guilt sank into his belly. "I…" 

"Wait," said Caspar, holding up a hand. "But - but before you say anything there's something I got to say first."

"What is it?" 

"I'm…" Caspar's tone was desperate, and what came next was as if he was charging into the words he was saying like he was in battle, all in a rush and with a lot of force. "I'm in love with you!" 

Ashe temporarily forgot to breathe. 

Caspar paused, looking down. "And… and I know that changes things, so I get it if we can't go back to the way things were, but…"

Ashe lifted his chin with a finger until they were looking into each other's eyes. "Caspar, kiss me."

Hopefully _that_ wouldn't go over his head. 

Caspar did, throwing his arms around his shoulders. Ashe wrapped his arms around his waist and drew him close, kissing him back. They continued like this enthusiastically, until they finally broke, both laughing a little. 

"I love you too," said Ashe, and he meant it. It was so, so clear now. "We don't have to go back to the way things were, we can try something new."

"Yeah!" Caspar was grinning. "Augh, I'm so happy I could yell!" 

"How about instead…" And Ashe kissed him again.

In the end, the innkeeper had a room to spare, as they went back to one. Though this time they didn't spend as much time sleeping, once the doors were closed.


End file.
